I have this little notebook that I carry with me at all times in my purse, to jot down bits of information so that I will not forget them. This notebook contains information from what I needed to pack for vacation this past May, my weekly grocery list, information about Elena Kagan's past experience to thoughts I have throughout the day.
Yesterday morning, while sitting at my desk, I began to think about my daughter Lena and her horrible and embarrassing behavior Sunday afternoon. I quickly made a notation: "am I raising a brat or is she just 6-years-old?"
On Sunday, we were shopping for a gift for a party we were going to that evening and Lena wanted something from the store as well. I must admit, often times I will get her a little something when we are at the store. However, that day, she wanted everything we were getting for her friend's birthday and I said no. She ended up crying through the entire store while I quickly got the necessary items, a birthday card, a gift bag and tissue paper.
I tried to explain over and over, in a stern voice, that it was Emma's birthday and that she got presents when it was her birthday. Finally, I had had it. She wasn't going to stop crying and my face was getting a deeper and deeper shade of red. I wanted to swat her on the butt and tell her to shut up. But, I didn't. All I could think was, "why is she being so selfish?" "why does she act like this with me?" We left the store and I decided we were not going to attend the party.
However, we went to the party. Lena promised to be on her best behavior and she was. A totally different child than three hours before. I got to thinking, why, oh why, is she always naughty with me and only me?
The afternoon after I wrote in my notebook I got the answer to my question. She disobeys me because she can. Not because there are not consequences for her actions but because she knows I will always love her and I will always be there to hold her as she falls asleep each night.
I got my answer from my son Lex's occupational therapist. She explained to me about her son and his behavior at home and away from home. I wanted to break down in tears because she was describing my daughter word for word. Lena is a wonderful student, listens and minds at church in Sunday school class, behaves well (mostly) in public and with other family members. But when she gets with me she lets down her guard because she knows she can. She does not have to be perfect for me. She can run around at home and recharge herself because she knows what is expected of her in all situations.
Lena is not a brat. She is not selfish. She is loving, tender, kind, eager to please and learn. She is my daughter and most importantly she is 6-years-old.
No comments:
Post a Comment