Praying....???

Lately, I have been doing a lot of thinking in regards to praying. I have never been one to bow my head and fold my hands and be "in a state of prayer." It is not comfortable to me and my parents never forced me to do so. I do not force Lena and Lex to pray daily, or even at all. At church when we are asked to bow our heads and the pastor leads the congregation in a prayer, I do not. I sit with my head up and listen to the words of the prayer.

When I do pray, I pray because I am scared. I pray for comfort. When I am really thankful and overwhelmed with the sense of happiness, I pray and thank God for all he or she has given me. However, this is not on a regular basis.

I recently read an article on the philosopher, Kant, and what he believed about prayer. He believed that prayer is just a selfish act of believers- to comfort themselves in times of need and fear.

I can relate. The times that I do pray, it is for my own benefit. I am exactly what Kant described. Perhaps that makes me a horrible or bad "believer." I like to think that makes me human. My take on praying is that, if God is what we say she is, then why do I need to pray? Doesn't she already know what I'm going to pray and need for that day, month, year? I think I'm limiting God's powers by saying, "this is what I need now God." Like God needs my direction.

I believe that God hears my thoughts (all the good and bad) throughout the day. I am thankful for what I've been given- my relationship with God allows me to not pray. So, I will not force my children to pray and I will continue to not pray regularly and pray only when I need comfort. Whether this is right, wrong, black or blue this is where my relationship stands with my God.